The Giving of Thanks

Hey kids,

Just posting a quick blurb about life. No walls of text today.

I'm currently at my Aunt Lucy's house for TURRRRKEY! It was amazing. Pumpking pie and ice cream cake soon to come. So yes, life is good.

On the Steve front, he wants to spread his seed - literally. If that happens I think I have to be 100% out of the relationship. I don't think I can deal with that. Sad, but at least I'm starting to come to terms with it.

Going back to Waterloo first thing tomorrow morning and I cannot wait to see my friends again! Ian has been keeping me company via msn and I chatted to him on the phone last night, but I still miss him way too much. I don't know how I'm going to survive over Christmas!

Check ya later.

What A Day.

I'm sitting here right now in the anticipation of what is going to happen shortly. Steve, his parent, and his sister are soon coming here to pick me up and take me home. That is going to be one emotionally charged hour and a bit for me. And earlier today I had to say goodbye to Ian and Kevin. So that makes me sad. And I just said goodbye to a bunch of people on my floor.

It is a sad day.

Speaking of sad, just my Dad is coming to my commencement tonight, my mom is in England right now, for sad reasons and my sister is now on her way to a place called Miner's Bay Lodge to work for the weekend. It's going to be me, my Dad and a big empty house. My first time home in six weeks, and it's not even going to be like home.

My Grandad's funeral was this morning, it's seven thirty pm there now, and I just wish more than anything that I could be there. I really could give a damn about school, or my commencement. I should be there. And I'm not.

It is a sad day.

Announcement To The World

I just swallowed my first pill..ever.

For those of you who know me, you know this is a big step.

Yay!

Steve X

Oh yes.

Yes I did.

I decided to make Steve a CD. It's been just about a year since I first started making them for him, so I figured a celebratory CD was in order. I'm not going to lie some of the songs may be slightly emotionally charged, but what the fuck ever.

The funny part is that I decided to call the CD Steve Mix X. To this point I've been numbering them with Roman Numerals and I'm actually at CD 8, but I thought X was more appropriate. According to him anyhow.

Song List:

This Boy - James Morrison (My New theme for LIFE)
Let My Love Open The Door - Sondre Lerche
Colours - The Rocket Summer
Everything's Changing - Keane
Such Great Heights - The Postal Service
That's What You Get - Paramore
Crushcrushcrush - Paramore
When The Stars Go Blue - Tyler Hilton and Bethany Joy Lenz
Naive - The Kooks
Kill - Jimmy Eat World
Good Vibrations - Gym Class Heroes
Scars - Papa Roach (Another life theme)
High of 75 - Relient K
Ready to Fall - Rise Against
Happy Ending - Mika
Sweet Thursday - Matt Costa
Montreal -40C - Malajube
Black Betty - Lynard Skynard (Oh Betty)
What I've Done - Linkin Park
I miss You - Blink 182
When Your Heart Stops Beating - Plus 44

It's a good cd.

...What. He had been bugging me to make him a new CD before he broke up with me.

Rain, Rain, Rain.

Rain, Rain, Rain.

After my Zoology midterm this evening I decided to catch the bus to my Aunt and Uncle's house to hang out an regain some sanity. Ian was at his three hour night class, so Wednesday nights are always super lame and boring. The Zoology midterm was way harder than I expected, btw, my lab partner was sitting beside me in the exam and like swearing under his breath, it was very hard not to laugh. Anyways...back to the bus. I was feeling very picturesque on my way to the bus stop. I had my umbrella out and my pea coat on and I was listening to some awesome songs on my iPod that make me happy.

I love rain. I find the force of nature so invigorating. And cathartic. And beautiful.

Unfortunately, there will be no more happy rain, or at least until I can convince Steve that I'm worth caring about. I always told him I believed in happy rain, and he always told me that there was no such thing. And I guess now there won't be.
What the hell.
I can have happy rain if I want to have happy rain.
Fuck.
Loving someone is like handing them a hammer that they can use to crush you at will.

Love really isn't fair.

Why should I be all depressed and hurt while Steve gets to go out three nights a week to parties and Fu Bar, rubbing up against random girls.

I don't like having my emotions be dependent on someone else when they are misusing it.
It was all lovely and great when Steve was all yay Maya.
But now, it's just not cool.

Love - Gets you high for a while, but get ready for a serious crash.

Midterms...pssh.

Hey kids,

I just wrote my first two midterms in University. Chemistry and Anthropology. OMG. Cakewalk.

End of post.

Midterm, Midterm, Midterm...Literally.

Yes folks,
It IS true.
I do have three midterms starting in almost exactly 24 hours.
Yes I am pulling my hair out.

How is it fair?
I get dumped by my boyfriend, my grandfather dies, and then I have to write three midterms. Oh midterm gods, you are so mean to me.

I just finished writing the sample chem midterm, and my first time straight through it I got 70%, but when I went back and checked my answers and stopped being an idiot I got them all right, so yay. But what if I'm an idiot on the midterm!?

And that's just CHEMISTRY.

I also have anthropology and zoology. I think I am going to leave anthropology studying for tonight after my lab and do more zoology studying now. Geeeeah!

Help?
I need somebody.
Help?
I'll take anybody.